Chocolate, eggs, hmm which came first????????????

Today it was easter Sunday, chocolate in abundance and happy children filling their faces. I have a confession though and i have no excuses albeit, I AM A CHOCOHOLIC!!!!!!!
I have arrived at this conclusion due to the fact that I bought all the eggs I needed and then secretly consumed three, one each night. I savoured each mouthful . I did not recieve any eggs from anyone today and I decided that it was because Karma had arrived upon my head. I did try to redeem myself, truly i did :/ I did a few toning up exercises today AND 10 minutes on the exercise bike. I thought my time on this earthly plane had come to an untimely end following it all, but alas, I am still here to tell the tale.
Other amazing, interesting news over the past few weeks, ermmmmmmmmmmmm not a great deal in the whole scheme of things. My father is still very confused, mother is still squealing at him, which is a talent that she has possessed for many many years now and one I never wish to inherit. My son has decided after hiring the solicitor and many hours of discussion, that he is to wait until he is 18, at least, before he goes to USA. I personally feel that his main sway was his need to be with his girlfriend. Yes it is his first true love encounter… he feels this is the one,,,,,, they will marry and live happily ever after, amen…. I remember saying that to my mum and then hearing her say ‘ I told you it would all end in tears’, as i sobbed endlessly due to being dumped by my first love. We all go through it, thats how Kleenex has stayed in business so long!! I could have become a trustee when I split from my ex husband, snot ran endlessly from my nostrils and my eyes stung for many a year, kleenex became a personal friend
Why do we place so much upon the shoulders of others? Why do we allow ourselves to become so wrapped up in the notion of what love is ‘supposed’ to be, that we actually lose the true meaning of the word? I am not really sure if i do understand the meaning of ‘love’ even now,, and i am nearly passed it
but I do feel that we lose the feelings of excitement, lust and spontaneity (spelling useless) and confuse this then with the feeling of lost love. To me Love is releasing the reins and letting the person live the life they wish too, it is then your decision whether you stay within the bounds of that relationship or walk away. Additionally i feel love is sharing laughter, good times and respecting the needs of the other. Respecting the needs does not mean you have to agree with them, but not to impose your own ideals just because you are in a relationship. You are two individuals sharing a pathway but the ultimate mistake, in my opinion, is that too many people feel the pathway means ownership. They feel it is correct to impose and command orders on their partners just because they share living accomodation. Boredom and loss of respect for your partner is due to the lack of ‘trying’ and assuming that the grass is greener on the other side. We look at other peoples lives and think that is what we lack, what we dont see is that what goes on behind the closed door. Every relationship is hard work in my opinion and sometimes we forget we are individual and try to place controlling tactics upon our partners. That is not a good thing. One thing I believe is essential within a relationship is romance, not sex or intimacy in a sexual way, just plain old fashioned romance. BUT remembering it is not just a woman thing, men like romance too……………….gee i sound like an agony aunt columist. Partnership.. both included, make time, bring back conversation, find the things you used to be attracted too initially. If after time and effort, and i do mean time and effort, not just a few days, that things are not improving then I feel people should learn to let go and walk away. It is certainly something that is extremely hard to do if there are still deep feelings there, and boy feelings can certainly run deep. We, in effect, should never have to spend time looking back at old relationships if we had worked hard to try to make it work in the first place and then only walking away after tackling it from all angles. We look back when things have been left unsaid or unresolved.
I am not talking about abusive relationships here though… I think it takes a great deal of courage to walk away from that sort of relationship and for many I would surmise that you look back over it many times even though you desperately dont want too.. these are memories that are hard to fade due to the mental and emotional scars.
Hmm don’t know where all that arrived from. Anyway, onto other aspects of life. Home education is going along well although I still have daily struggles of whether I am teaching her enough or correctly and whether she is benefiting from it. I have started letting her participate in the monday relaxation class that I run, and she is loving that I need to sit and formulate some kind of approach for topics she wants to do that will not cost anything on trips etc. She is enjoying caring for the ever growing zoo in the house and I have come to the conclusion that she is some kind of animal whisperer
That leads me onto..dont know how…but the increasing nightmare of my days..money. Problem is I do not have any. I work so hard or should i say, as hard as my stupid body enables me too, and still I get to the checkouts at Tescos and get my card declined. How embarrassing!!! Even more demoralising is that my 17year old had to pay as she had just been paid from work. I would like to earn money writing but have not a single clue how to go through the process of finding contracts etc, I wonder whether to take some shifts back lecturing or nursing but that would mean leaving A and I don’t want others to teach her.
I have to remain positive, cut down moreso on travelling about etc and come up with some money earning ideas in a proactive mindset yeeeharrr!!
Right to cheer up this post alittle I will add some pics

Advertisement