so much for the positive thoughts..here comes the nag

Hmmmm i am finding this positivity lark a bit hard to adhere to presently. Two teenagers who have moods and opinions, as with all teens, that could drive me to the white van and straightjacket. My eldest is doing a degree and has already been given an extension on work so it has to be completed by monday ( thats tomorrow), so for the past week all i seem to have done is hound and nag. “Have you done the assignments yet?” ” You know if you did more of your assignments and less talking to all unsundry on facebook and your phone you would have completed them ages ago”
My nagging is greeted with grunts, eye rolls, tears, door slams, feet stamping and non sensical mumbles. It really hurts me to nag and is not good for my stress levels but there i go again… incessant nagging..I scream at myself inside to shut the hell up but still i go on. There i am…evolved into my own mother!!!! I know that my intensions are right and that i am not wrong with what i am saying but why do i feel like i have emotionally scarred her for nagging so?? Where is the bloody guide book for teenage moods and manipulative behaviour ?? There that is another thing… children are great at the manipulation game. The eyes, the body language, the stamping then the tears…. all put there for me to end up feeling like the worst mother that ever walked the earth, all the while their biological father cant be bothered to see them never mind care about their life and be the battering ram for their moods.
My son, has decided to quit college and join the RAF ( if he gets in) much to my dismay. I am terrified of him getting hurt and worse . He is still my baby and as much as he thinks he is all grown up and knows everything at the ripe old age of 16 years…. he is still so innocent and such a gentle lad. Argumentative though :s omg he can argue till i am blue and he still thinks he is right and i am the worst, unreasonable mother in the land. He has a lovely singing voice and i know he could go far if i had the money to support him getting there, but i dont and jobs are hard to get for a lad his age in the present climate.
I get so emotional thinking that my kids dont feel i love them or support them correctly due to my nagging but they couldnt be further from the truth. I have become cook, cleaner, laundry woman, taxiing, emotional target for moods and i suppose this is in the role of being a mother…. but sometimes i just wish they stood back and realised that I have a life and emotions too and i am certainly not invinsible to hurt.
Simon says i should step back and not let them speak how they do to me, let them start doing their own cleaning, washing, cooking, shopping etc but then i dont feel like i am being the caring parent especially when i see the sad faces stomping through the house cause Mother has not cooked tea or washed my clothes.
In all this my youngest seems to just get on with life herself. She never moans or groans, she talks incessantly but thats all really. It should be her getting the majority of my attention now as she is 10 and the others are 16 and 18, they had my attention at that age but poor A just seems to get whats left over when i am stressed and worn out with arguing.
OMG don’t i moan and go on? :/
I start work on Thursday night and really not looking forward to it but i know i need to earn a wage in order to not be so skint. I have never really understood some people when they tell you they have no money and things are tight yet they can go out and do nice things .. i cant, we buy cheap, never have holidays or days out, cant remember when i last bought myself some clothes. Things are really really tight and in a way it has been a positive learning curve for me…not for the older two kids though as they hate that i cant provide everything they want. They want, as all teens do, to look good infront of their friends. I feel guilt as my eldest has worked since she was 15 in order to buy herself clothes etc, and we have never done the nice mother daughter girly days or gone clothes shopping
Right I have to shake off this low ebb and think happy sweet thoughts…rainbows and dewdrops and whiskers on kittens, copper kettles and warm woollen mittens I wonder if MRS BEETON wrote a book of how to survive the teenage years with no grey hairs or insanity???

Advertisement